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Workers come up with wild excuses to avoid work
by
John Campanelli/Plain Dealer reporter
Sunday November 30, 2008, 3:17 PM
"He told me that he had been in jail," remembers Barnett. He went on to say that he had borrowed a friend's car to get to work, but the vehicle had been reported stolen. He was stopped by the police and put in jail for possession of stolen property.
The story got better: The car apparently had been used in a robbery in Medina County the day before, and the cops were grilling him about it, which kept him from calling into work. Eventually, he was able to convince them that he was innocent, and they released him.
"The most far-fetched thing ever," says Barnett. "So the first thing I do is call the sheriff's office. They had no record of him. He made up the whole thing.
"I give him credit for creativity, if anything."
It didn't keep him from losing his job, though.
Continue reading "Workers come up with wild excuses to avoid work" »
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Humor Us: Dec. 1
by
PDQ staff
Sunday November 30, 2008, 3:59 PM
Readers: Send your captions for this cartoon by Plain Dealer artist Ted Crow to PDQ@plaind.com or PDQ, The Plain Dealer, 1801 Superior Ave., Cleveland, OH 44114. Winners will be published in next week's section.
LAST WEEK'S WINNERS:
Miles was standoffish and had an axe to grind with Tom when he arrived at the Butter Ball wearing his double-breasted suit and tails.
-- Rob Heckman, University Heights
Tom, trying to fit in and hide at the same time, started to hum and dance the Pilgrim Hokey-Pokey.
-- Charlene Rose, Lakewood
The old-style hat was a dead giveaway.
-- John Senz, Concord Township
KSU psychology professor Dan Neal recruits students for drinking research
by
John Campanelli/Plain Dealer reporter
Sunday November 30, 2008, 3:27 PM
Kent State psychology professor Dan Neal mixes all the drinks as head of KSU's Alcohol Research Lab.Kent State University's Dan Neal is the professor many of us wish we had when we were in school. A psychology prof, Neal is head of KSU's Alcohol Research Lab. To get subjects for his research into alcohol and its effects on self-control, he placed an ad in the Daily Kent Stater newspaper urging students (those over 21, of course) to come into his bar lab and "drink for science." The students are thoroughly screened, served carefully measured drinks and then asked to do a series of exercises to assess their risk-taking. They earn up to $50 for their time. The drinks are free. In between evening research sessions, Neal answered a few questions from PDQ's John Campanelli.
How has the response been to an ad that says "drink for science"?
The phone has been ringing off the hook. .¤.¤. The "drink for science" tag is a tried-and-true method for recruitment, and it definitely works. I picked it up while I was at the University of Texas at Austin, where I did my post-doc. A colleague of mine at Yale actually has registered the Web domain www.drinkforscience.com to help recruit for his studies.
Do students approach the study with a thirst for knowledge or a thirst for alcohol?
Actually, I would say thirst for money is the No.¤1 priority, followed closely by a thirst for alcohol. "I get paid to drink? Cool!"
Pop 10: Dudes, Punishment and Britney
by
Joanna Connors/Plain Dealer reporter
Sunday November 30, 2008, 3:05 PM
1. STELLA: Michael Ian Black, Michael Showalter and David Wain bring the dada to comedy in this show, adapted from their surreal Comedy Central series. They hit Cleveland's House of Blues at 8 p.m. Sunday. Get there early: Wain is from Cleveland, and his family is notorious for taking all the good seats so they can heckle him up close. We wonder: With a real Dada in the house, will Stella dare to make burning-baby jokes?
The Dude (Jeff Bridges) and John Goodman, abiding.2. THE DUDE ABIDES: And we are not referring to Todd Palin, ya know, up there in Alaska. The true First Dude, Dude of All Dudes, shall forever be Jeffrey Lebowski -- THE Dude -- in the Coen Brothers' masterpiece, "The Big Lebowski." So mix yourself a White Russian, keep your bathrobe on, and head to the Cedar Lee Theatre in Cleveland Heights for the annual cult-movie screening, at 9:30 p.m. and midnight Saturday. But only if you roll on Shabbos.
3. DUDERONOMY: Pre-"Lebowski," brush up on all things Dude at dudeism.com, home of the Church of the Latter-Day Dude, where you can check out the Tao of the Dude, meet Great Dudes in History and get ordained a Dudeist Priest. A good way to stick your toe into the ethos of the Dude. So to speak.
Continue reading "Pop 10: Dudes, Punishment and Britney" »PDQuotient: Sneaky fees
by John Campanelli/Plain Dealer reporter
Sunday November 30, 2008, 3:04 PM
$942 -- Amount the average American adult paid in hidden fees in 2006.
$2 billion -- Amount the hotel industry collected in add-on fees in 2007.
$550 million -- Amount the hotel industry collected in add-on fees in 2002.
$38 billion -- Amount commercial banks earned in fees from deposit accounts during 2007.
$3.43 -- Average cost of using another bank's ATM.
$28.95 -- Average bank fee on a bounced check.
$120 -- Baggage fees that a family of four would pay on a round-trip flight on American, United or US Airways if each member checks a bag.
$275 million -- Potential annual revenue that United Airlines estimates that it can earn from baggage fees.
65 -- Percent of consumers complaining to their credit card company who were able to get a fee refunded.
$12 -- Amount of the fee added to each speeding ticket written in the Atlanta suburb of Holly Springs (the fee was imposed in June because of high fuel prices).
Sources: The Wall Street Journal, BizRate.com, Pittsburgh Post Gazette, Seattle Times, Good Housekeeping, Modesto Bee, Atlanta Journal Constitution.
More missing-work excuses
by John Campanelli/Plain Dealer reporter
Sunday November 30, 2008, 3:02 PM
Every year, CareerBuilder.com [cba: ok: ]surveys HR professionals and employers, asking them to reveal the strangest excuses employees have used when they've missed work. Here are some the most memorable (in other words, don't try to use them):
Employee contracted mono after kissing a mailroom intern at the company holiday party and suggested the company post some sort of notice to warn others who may have kissed him.
Employee couldn't find shoes.
Employee swallowed too much mouthwash.
Employee was upset because his favorite "American Idol" contestant was voted off.
Employee's psychic told her to stay home.
Employee said bus broke down and was held up by robbers.
At her sister's wedding, an employee chipped her tooth on a mint julep, bent over to spit it out, hit her head on a keg and was knocked unconscious.
Humor Us: Nov. 24
by Cleveland.com
Monday November 24, 2008, 6:27 PM
LAST WEEK'S WINNERS:
"I thought these were friendly skies!"
-- Ferole Parmelee, Shaker Hts.
"Hmmm. I think I found the way to win the company picnic's chicken plucking contest."
-- Emil Marino, Painesville
"That's not the way to give a plane the bird!"
-- Larry Holden, Green
Sponge Gloves do the dirty work and keep your hands smooth
by John Campanelli/Plain Dealer Reporter
Sunday November 23, 2008, 6:22 PM
Let Sponge Gloves help you do the dirty work.
Help!
After I wash the dishes, my hands look and feel like Keith Richards' face. How can I get my pots and pans clean without roughing up my tender skin?
Solved!
The idea -- a dish glove with sponges already attached -- is pure genius. The result, Sponge Gloves (available widely online, we found ours for $12.99 at Sporks.com), will make the post-Thanksgiving cleanup so much fun, the guys will forgo the football and volunteer to scrub the pan with the bird drippings. Unless they don't. The idea is so good, Sponge Gloves might end up leading to a whole new line of lifesaving products, like sandpaper gloves, paintbrush gloves and safely-shake-hands-with-sniffly-co-workers gloves.
-- John Campanelli, Plain Dealer Reporter
