What could possibly go wrong remodeling?

To heck with worrying over a remodel.

You could get estimates and check references, but that takes so much work. You have to dial the phone.

Sure, you hear stories about leaky roofs and flaking concrete and bad wiring, but those things happen to other people. Not you. Them.

My advice is take it easy:

When someone starts pressuring you to sign a contract, just do it. Don’t read it, either. Just go to the X and sign.

Pay cash. In advance. Half of it, all of it, it doesn’t matter. And don’t get a receipt.

Say “yes” when that guy comes around and offers you a discount on driveway paving because he has materials leftover from another job. Sure, that nice finish will wash off with the next rain, but park the car the right way and the neighbors will never know.

Don’t check references. And don’t go calling the BBB for a company report. The less you know, the better.

Look for companies that work out of P.O. boxes and that only use cell phones. Try not to get last names. A little mystery can really spice up your life.

Don’t ask for proof of insurance or workers’ comp. Your insurance company will be happy to handle the claim if a worker is injured on your property. It probably won’t raise your rates at all.

Go for generic materials. A door’s a door, right?

Hire the cheapest company even though other homeowners give lukewarm reviews. The workers are bound to be more experienced by the time they start your job, right?

Don’t get any permits. Don’t even let the Building Department know you’re having work done, they will just want to start nosing around checking things.

Change your mind as often as you like once the work gets started and don’t ask the contractor how much it will cost. It will be more fun to wait till the end and see if the contractor and you were thinking the same price. Kind of like a game show.

Think of it this way: On the off chance something goes wrong, you can always sell.

If you have a consumer problem you haven’t been able to resolve on your own, e-mail sheryl harris@plaind.com; write to Plain Dealing in care of The Plain Dealer, 1801 Superior Ave., Cleveland 44114; or call the Plain Dealing help line at 216-999-6344. By submitting a question to Plain Dealing, you are agreeing to have it published in the paper. Because of the volume of calls, Plain Dealing can respond to complaints only through the column.

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